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Artistic Nightmares

This is my latest…
I am sitting in a café with a group of actors and a play director and discussing the character of my heroine that I will play in a few hours in front of a large audience.  I am asking the director, “What is your vision for this production?  What is this play about?  Is it about love and redemption?”  “ Yes, of course,” he is saying.  “What else can it be about ???”  Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that I do not know any lines for my role and I did not really read the play.  “I will be okay… I just should concentrate on my character and the lines will come to me.”  In a few minutes, I wake up gasping for air…

I also remember this one very well…
It was in my student years.  I need to get to the stage – the theater is huge and I have seats for my guests on the top left balcony.  I meet them at the fancy foyer and escort them to their seats.  When they get situated in their seats and wish me to break a leg, I am happily on my way to the stage.  While I am walking and running down the stairs and up the hallway and to the right backstage corridor, I can hear the announcement, “AND NEXT ON OUR PROGRAM…” and I know it is me.  I can see the stage far away down below, I can see my partner walking to the stage alone and I run and run… a gasp and…I wake up in a cold sweat.

On my way to play a duo; the stagehand walks me from my dressing room – I am in a long blue dress with long gloves.  “Do you have your music?” she asks me.  We walk behind the curtains trying not to trip on them.  We pass studio one, with people dancing; studio two with some love scene being filmed, a restaurant with a lot of flowers and here we are, finally arriving.  I can see the blue intimate light at the end of a narrow dark hallway… I walk into the room and my partner in a black tuxedo is smiling at me and sitting behind one of the music stands with a guitar in his hands.  The chair next to him is for me… with the guitar resting on it as well… Guess what happens next?  Yes, gasping for air I wake up…

concert_hallThis time in my very red dress, slightly terrified, but very excited I walk on to the stage.  I can feel the synchronized breathing of the audience… in and out, in and out.  The orchestra is tuned and ready to begin.  The conductor looks at me, I give him a ready signal and… he starts a Grieg piano concerto.  Beautiful sounds of the main theme float under the tall ceiling of a concert hall and the audience is mesmerized with the beauty of it.  SLOWLY, the sea of terror is filling my body from my feet up, to my hands, my heart, my head…
I WAS PRACTICING ANOTHER CONCERTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, this is a classic horror dream of pianists.  I am sure every musician has a set of signature nightmares.  There must be quite a few books out with the horror dreams of the devoted labor force of Las Bellas Artes.  I guess my conversation with the theater director last night was a message from my subconscious… “Anya, it is time to start practicing for your upcoming concert”.  And unless I want to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat on a regular basis from now on, I better listen to it…

8 years, 4 months ago Comments Off on Artistic Nightmares